feelings
I don't know how and what am I feeling deep inside me now. My thoughts are running wild, my mind is not listening to my heart. My heart is going through all sorts of feelings, that transmits to my mind, telling me a lot of things that are making me regret on all the wrong doings, hurting a treasure so badly long before. These are seriously hurting me now. Crazy thoughts and dreams, once so alive in my mind, may not come true now. How weird that things are happening, revolving around me just keep on changing and it's hurting me. Hopes that were once high up there are now shattered and scattered into the vast graves.
I suddenly felt like I've been chopped up into pieces. The pain I'm feeling inside me now is just unbearable. I have never thought that my heart would cry out for you so badly. The past years, I've been too naive, complacent and insensitive about the way I treated you. [sorry and thank you!]?? Now I'm just beginning to realise that I've missed a treasure that may not ever come back anymore. That treasure I've missed has seemed to let go of everything and begin its new chapter of life; moving on. Right now, I'm just stucked here, going through all the pain that I've never once thought that it would be for you.
Guess what I'm wishing for now?! Just give me another chance and I promise I'll never hurt you again. *Laughs* Funny isn't it? Now what am I doing? Acting normal as if nothing's going on within me, all smiles and around. Being all tough and strong; able to withstand the thunder, lightning and earthquake? I seriously don't know and I'm just regretting right now for being all mean to you and saying nasty things that you weren't suppose to know, somehow accidentally you knew. Whereas I'm feeling guilty there and then at that moment when you knew. You just stood there, looking at my backview and pretended nothing happened.
Till now, you still treat me all so well and nice, and I just don't know what to say. You're just like the FLASH!, just a call and you'll definitely be there. Whenever and wherever! I'll remain hopeful no matter what, because I believe anything can happen and change, if it's God's will. Don't tell me what to do because I'll be right here waiting for you.
Joanne Magdalene
