Thursday, August 30, 2007

29.08.07 [The Day I Bimbo-ed.]

Anyway it's late. I am at Sab's house and I'm going to sleep now.
Nightey night! :)

*Joan* was here at 4:13:00 AM

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Today is the last day of school and I am not there. Gah~ Don't ask me why.
It's the last day of semester 1. After the holiday, I am going to change class and facilitators. Oh man...
**Crosses my fingers**

Anyway! Tam & Jon, Sab & Nat, my parents and me, are all confirmed going to Hong Kong together end of the year. Oh man... The 2 pairs of couple except me, the odd one out. I am going to feel so so weird. Shit!
I want a perfect soul too!! So I can bring him along. :(

Blah~ I shouldn't wish nor want eh. Cause God will give him to me when the time comes. :)

That's all for today. :))
Jo

*Joan* was here at 2:32:00 PM

Thursday, August 16, 2007

OMFGoodness!!! I am like totally pissed off.
That woman doesn't even know the differences between broadband wireless and dial-up internet connection.

She thinks her f**king $300 rent in my house as a tenant includes a bed, build-in wardrobe and cupboards, desktop-computer usage, telephone usage, air-con, cooking in the kitchen and basic toiletries like detergent and toilet roll. F**king hell...
Now she has a laptop of her own, she wants to include house wireless connection as well.
OMFGoodness!
We are just asking for an increase of $50 to be able for you to use the wireless in the house, you complain that it is a lot to ask from you.
Somemore ask my mom to be your guarantor. If anything happens in the future, you think your $300 can solve everything is it.

[Woman! You go outside and rent a room, the least you pay is $450. It is without a bed and a fan, only the usage of electricity and water. No air-con or any others that is mentioned above! I think my mom is the nicest person you have ever met on earth. You came back to Singapore from Indo, my mom offered to drive to the airport to pick you up and come back to my house.
Eh! *People give you an inch, you want to take a mile.* What is this??

If you think the rent is high, then by all means go find other alternatives. You go and find out whether you will be able to find a place that offers everything that you have in this house at the same price we are charging you now or cheaper.
Fat hopes woman!
If you can, MOVE OUT of this house!!
Moreover you are studying "REAL ESTATE" for your DEGREE, go and ask your lecturers how much is the general ratings for renting a room in Singapore. Go ask before you talk to any of us. If you don't believe me or my mom, go ask them!

You dare to tell me that the $300 you are paying me is a lot is it?
Hello woman, wake up! You want to use broadband in the house? Fine!
Out of your $300, I take out $100 to pay for the broadband. The balance $200. You think it is enough to cover up electricity and water bills? How about the room rate with bed, air-con, build-in wardrobe and cupboards provided?
I haven't calculated the printer ink cartridge that you have been using you know. So far, you have use the printer more than my mom or me.
Firstly, ever since the printer was purchased, I haven't even printed anything out for myself. My mom print only a little.
Eh that time you print and photocopy all your results and testimonials for the application of Universities, I can count how much you have printed ok. Don't come and act innocent, telling me you only print one or two pages and you don't know why the ink is finishing so fast.
I haven't calculate all these in okay!!!
NOW YOU DARE TELL ME THAT THE $300 RENT IS A LOT?!!

Woman welcome to the real world man.
You tell me the money in your bank is just enough to support you for your 4 years of education here. In the first place, you should know that Singapore's living standard is very high. Staying here for 5 years in the hostels, don't tell me you don't know or learn anything about Singapore. Don't give me this kind of shit!
Since you are telling me your family got financial problem, then from the very beginning, don't study in Singapore!
Finish your Secondary and Junior College, fly back to Indo; don't study University in Singapore since you are complaining so much about monetary issues.

Eh you got a lot of things in your mind that needs to be settled is it? Not only you okay! Everyone in Singapore is facing the same thing, so don't come and give me this kind of shitty excuses. If it is so hard for you, the easiest thing to do now is WHACK YOUR BUTT, PACK YOUR STUFF AND FLY BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY.

One more thing, don't ever assume anything about me. Know me, what kind of a person am I before you say anything and putting words into my mouth. You think I will add pepper and salt into the things you tell me is it? Eh whatever you tell me ah, I report exactly what you told me to my mom. I'm not the kind of person who would add pepper and salt to make the situation worst okay.
Bloody biatch!

One more thing! Don't even dare try to put words into my mom's mouth as well. About buying the laptop, it was you who has the intention to get a laptop already. What do you mean by, my mom was the one who ask you to buy a laptop so that she will be happier. When and which second, minute or hour did that ever come out of my mom's mouth? You tell me now!
YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS ASKING MY MOM FOR ADVICES ABOUT BUYING A LAPTOP! You wanted to buy a laptop, and my mom was the one to ask you not to buy first at that time. She told you to wait for your school to have the exhibition that offers special rates for students.
Eh you really know how to twist your stories around yeah? Don't push our limits too far.

Don't step over me or I'll make sure you get out of my house within an hour. I don't care if you have no place to sleep for the next few nights till you have found another place to rent and stay. Seriously woman, don't push your luck too far.
Don't TRY!

You even dare to tell me that the one whole month when you were in France, the $300 can be used to deduct for your desire to use the wireless in the house. Eh what do you think this is man? You go stay in a hotel for one week. You tell me if you can don't pay for that week if you didn't sleep in the hotel for that entire week.
Woman don't be so naive okay.

Seriously! Go and check out the real world out there before you come and talk to me or my mom to request or make a deal. I got nothing to say to you anymore.
I don't believe you can be so DUMB and NAIVE until like that.
F**K YOU MAN!
There won't be a next time if it ever happens again. There will be NO MERCY the next time round. Out you go means out you go! No bargaining... This is not a pasa malam or something. Don't come and cry for mercy by then.
We all know you are unhappy now. Eh you have no right to show your attitudes and anger now okay. No Rights!

Sorry people for this depressing and angry post.

Signing off.
Jo

*Joan* was here at 12:49:00 AM

Saturday, August 11, 2007

These few days have been a hazard for me. I don't know why.
Punishment from God so as to warn me about something?? I really wonder...

Currently watching "The Ring" on channel 5. Pretty scary... But yeah, I watched it before though. :P

Tomorrow's Sunday. How time flies... Freaky.
My Love life? Not even there yet.
This current phase of life? Not so good.
I hate being alone now. I just don't understand this feeling.
When you are in a relationship, sometimes you just want to get out of it and be alone by yourself to enjoy single-hood. But when you're in single-hood, you long to be in a relationship, out searching and looking for Mr. or Ms Right.
I just don't get it.

Why? I never understood.
Anyway I am going to attend school everyday for the next two weeks. Yeah.

Gonna go off now. :))

*Joan* was here at 11:22:00 PM

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Read:
Quietly and slowly read the following meditation. Everyone longs to give himself or herself completely to someone, to have a deep and committed soul relationship with another. We want to be loved thoroughly and unconditionally.
But God says:

Wait until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by ME alone, with giving yourself totally, unreservedly to ME alone.

I love you, my childe. But until you discover that only in ME is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another as you desire to be until you are united with ME, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires and belongings.

I want you to stop planning and stop wishing, and allow ME to give you the most thrilling plan that exists - one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the very best. Please allow ME to bring to you.

Just keep your eyes on ME, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must be patient.

Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look around at the things others have.
Don't look at the things you think you want.
Just keep looking at ME, or you will miss what I want to give you.

And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready... until you are both satisfied exclusively with ME and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relation with ME... and this is perfect love.

Pray:
Take a few minutes to reflect silently on what God is saying to you in your heart.

Respond:
Use your journal to respond to this amazing love that God has for you. If it helps you, read through the meditation again (written from God's point of view) and respond to each of the sections.

Assignment
Ask 10 people the following question:
"What is the meaning of life?"
Record the answers and come back and give a verbal summary.

Basically the meditation was what strike me the most. And I hope it does to you too. Well when I read this, I just felt that it was God who was talking to me. It is just a message I needed so badly from Him, and it came.
God works in many ways and He is just so amazing. :)

God Bless
Jo :))

*Joan* was here at 12:10:00 AM

Monday, August 06, 2007

I don't know what I'm becoming. Seriously!

Moreover so much things had happened in the past week.

The convo that Tam, Deb and me had with that no-common-sense woman was totally horrid! It boiled my blood to the extreme and I nearly flipped the whole dining table upside down right in front of her. Irritating.
She'd nearly brought disaster to my family if hadn't I not found out about her asking my mom to sign as guarantor for her stupid S$40,000 bank loan without telling my mom the actual amount she borrowed.
She a bloody 20 years old, INDONESIAN SCHOLAR, who studied in SA can tell me straight in the face that she doesn't know what a guarantor is.
She don't even know how a guarantor and bank works. WTFH! And she doesn't even know what a "psychic" is. WTH!
All the bank loan and basic courtesy while staying in somebody else's house as a TENANT... IRRITATING!
~I really can't wait for her to move out!~ Seriously! Before my house goes down the drain.

YES! I am a christian and I should forgive and accept her. BUT bringing disaster to my family and house is not what I can tolerate. Yes I should continue to let her stay and give her a F**King chance to stay on.
BUT I have lost TRUST in her, I can't do it! argh...
Praying to be patient and not be angry at her, yes I do. When I pray I am fine, but when I see it, it starts all over again. Anger and Rage!
AAAAHHHH~ It's driving me crazy...

Yeah... Ever since that convo, there are a few changes.
Even so, there is still one thing I can't stand about, it is when I talk to her and she gives me the "are you sure what you say is TRUE?" look.
To that point, I can't be bothered to talk to her anymore. Like totally~

I shall end all that randomness and anger now.

Anyway I went to visit Mark at the Traders Hotel with the company of Tam, Sab, Nat Kor Kor, Victoria, Kai Er and Condrey. Grace was supposed to come but didn't in the end. Well we stayed over except Nat, Kai Er and Victoria. We went to orchard towers at 3am and saw tonnes of pros and homos. I got totally traumatised and soon we got out of there; and walked back to the hotel. We went home in the early Thursday morning after which sleeping for about only 2 hours. Yeah... It was fun.
I didn't go to school on that Thursday because I caught a bad flu and sore throat. Went to the doc for consultation was given a 2 days MC.

Weekend was pretty ok, except that session yesterday was rather disappointing. But Keenan's talk on the theology was marvellous. I thank Keenan for that enriching talk.
I didn't attend Terence's BBQ party last night, as I was too tired. Moreover I foresee that it was going to end late considering that I got school today.
So yeah... A thousand apologies to Terence. :)

Oh ya! The notes that Keenan gave to us yesterday, there was this page that striked Tam and me. It slapped me in the face at least. I will post about what it says soon.

***
God I have understood what you have been trying to tell me, and I will obey your words. I love you.
Jo :))

*Joan* was here at 10:25:00 AM

Roses`

A Cup Of Wine`

Sweet Champagne`