Tuesday, February 27, 2007

"Run to me"

Life just seems like it has taken a 270 degrees turn. I can't seem to comprehend it anymore. I feel awkward. It's as if something is missing in this life here and now. I feel so alone and it's mixing with all the other feelings deep within me; bringing me very close to tears. Something's really missing and it is making me feel like crap.
Just where is everybody?? I don't know where I'm going. I feel so lost all of a sudden and I just feel like crying.

Dumb shit. I'm really worried about my posting results. Blah~ Pray for me.
[Especially YOU! The person reading this! XD]

Everyone's either schooling or working, and I'm working too. I feel so bored.
Shopping, Movies or Dinner anyone? I'm free in the evenings around 6pm onwards during the weekdays. :))

Something's missing.
Really missing.
I feel so alone.
It's biting at the edges of my emotions.
I just feel like crying.
Just where am I heading to?

I really Love you.

*Joan* was here at 12:34:00 AM

Sunday, February 25, 2007

"Wonderful Emotions"

You laid aside Your majesty,
gave up everything for me.
Suffered at the hands of those You had created.
You took away my guilt and shame,
When You died and rose again.
Now today You reign,
And heaven and earth exalt You.

I really want to worship You my Lord,
You have won my heart and I am Yours.
Forever and ever, I will love You.
You are the only one who died for me,
Gave Your life to set me free.
So I lift my voice to You in ador-a-tion.

The meaning of this song touches my heart deeply. :)) Anyhoo.. Today was a rather tiring day. Psalm 91 bonding session was FUN!! XD
I love Jurane! A new member. She Rocks my socks. Muahahaha. :D

I felt rather emo today but I didn't show it. Blah~ I don't know what to say anymore. I'm just cold blooded after all those rubbish. :/

'Think'
Talk to each other.
Laugh together.
Eating together.
Dance together.
Joke together.
Tease each other.
Walk together.
Where have all these gone to???

Come Back To Me!

Just take a look at me,
talk to me,
tell me jokes,
tease me,
laugh,
cry,
angry,
I'd be satisfied.
I'm just longing for its presence.
And just... Come back to me. :))

*Joan* was here at 11:37:00 PM

"Thinking of You"

If ever you got rain in your heart,
someone has hurt you, and torn you apart,
am I unwise to open up your eyes to love me?

And let it be like they said it would be -
me loving you girl, and you loving me.
Am I unwise to open up your eyes to love me?

Run to me whenever you're lonely. (to love me)
Run to me if you need a shoulder
Now and then, you need someone older,
so darling, you run to me.

And when you're out in the cold,
no one beside you, and no one to hold,
am I unwise to open up your eyes to love me?

And when you've got nothing to lose,
nothing to pay for, nothing to choose,
am I unwise to open up your eyes to love me

Run to me whenever you're lonely. (to love me)
Run to me if you need a shoulder
Now and then you need someone older,
so darling, you run to me.

Bee Gees Rocks!!!! XD

The show 'Norbit' is really funny. Haha.. I went to watch it at cineplex with my godbrother, Bryant, on Friday night. Gosh! It's just so so hilarious. Can't stop laughing. Good movie. Recommended to watch. Seriously. Haha. Go form your abs by watching it. Haha. Lols. XD

Tomorrow's Sunday! :)) Woohoo!~ As usual, 10am class and 3pm Psalm 91. Weee~ XD
Always looking forward to the weekends. :)

Next, I'm very worried for the posting results. Man! Pretties pretties, PLEASE pray for me! :/ I really want to get in to my first choice. God please help me!
Worried. Real worried.
Gosh!!

*Joan* was here at 12:10:00 AM

Thursday, February 22, 2007

The past few days of CNY was hell to me. On the first day while visiting both my grandparents, my DAD just had to go round bragging to people about how irresponsible I am for not calling up the NP lecturer for help and guidance on the day which he wanted me to.
Come on I will call, it's not as if I'm not going to call at all. Just because I didn't call her on the day he wanted me to, doesn't show and mean that I don't give a damn about my education life or whatsoever. Just one mistake and he said that I'm being irresponsible. Fine. Whatever.

But for crying out loud, on the first day of CNY he went round bragging to all the aunties and uncles about it. Next thing, while playing cards with my cousins, there was one incident where I didn't hear carefully about paying or taking the one dollar from grandma. I just merely shifted the one dollar and he just told me off in an aggitated tone saying that I don't know how to calculate, I don't know how to see. Don't you know the meaning of hearing wrongly. AAHH!
Since it was the first day of CNY, I didn't want to rebut back in front of my cousins, thus I just kept silent.
Do you even care about how I feel? I'm turning eighteen and I'm not a kid anymore. Face it. All you think of me in your eyes is, I'm still a teenager who's unalert, irresponsible, stupid and a handicap at doing and handling things. Yes I may be irresponsible in other small ways, but to my education life and all others, I'm NOT!

Come to the third day of CNY, my friends were coming over to visit. I woke up early in the morning to go to the market and all with my mom to buy and prepare the food for the steamboat. He was still sleeping like a log. That's fine.
Then my grandma called and said she wanted to come over to our place, and she needed him to go and pick her up.
Not long he went out and I thought he went to pick grandma over. When he came back, I didn't see her. Thus I asked him how come he didn't go and pick grandma. And he replied in an agitated tone again saying "You all sitting here watching tv and playing computer, don't know how to go and pick her up ah"
WTH!! Mom was cooking in the kitchen for crying out loud. And yes I was watching tv and my dear cousin was playing the computer.
DAMN IT I SWEAR!
If I've got a driving license, I wouldn't even bother to ask him to go pick her. I would definitely go myself. And my dear cousin, his nephew is only 14 this year.
WE DON'T HAVE A BLOODY LICENSE TO DRIVE!!
Plus for his 441, my grandma and that's HIS mother. Can't he go and pick her up himself. Why still have to ask his wife to go help pick his mom up when his wife is busy cooking in the kitchen. And he himself also ended up watching tv what.
Why come tell us off saying we are watching tv and playing the computer when he was doing it too??? When he himself HAVE a bloody license and HE himself is sitting there watching the damn tv.
It's so ironic. After an hour later, he said he was going to pick grandma up. WTH!

Next all my friends hadn't arrive yet but grandma did. I don't even know what time my friends were coming and I got scolded from both parents asking me why they hadn't arrive. How the hell would I know then when they didn't inform me the time? I know they were going to come, and he and my mom just got frustrated, and told me off
"Aye they're not coming, so late already still not here. We waited for so long already. You finish all the food yourself if they are not here".
What the hell was wrong with the both of them. I SWEAR AH.. Dad was enough. Mom started.
Then nevermind. Not long I took a chicken to eat. And I was thinking of helping out with the preparation of the table and all that stuff after I'm done eating that one piece. My dad turned around and told me off "Can you just stop standing there eating and come and help out!" WTH!
I seriously had enough there and then. Having not finish eating it, I threw it away and went to help out. My grandma was there and I didn't want to show that I was unhappy. I was fighting these feelings within me trying all my best not to show. My mom could tell and she got angry with me. Leaving everything in the kitchen for me to do, telling me that she had enough of me.
FINE!
Seriously I was close to tears at that point. Grandma was there and I held it back. Then my dad went out to buy more stuff. My mom on the other hand told me to go and buy wooden chopsticks as there weren't enough. Ok fine. So I asked if the provision shop at S11 will be opened, hoping that she might know.
She told me off in an agitated tone as well, "How would I know? You go see la. You think I own the shop is it?"
WTH!!!!! I was just merely asking right. Hoping and thinking that she might know, so I asked. She didn't have to reply me in that manner for Christ sake.
I grabbed everything and I walked out of the house to buy. I broke down and cried all alone on the way.

Worst CNY ever! I SWEAR! I only blogged about it today cause I was thinking about it. Damn it. Seriously! Anyone in my position at those times would definitely cry more than I did.

My dad always thinks that he is always right, and everybody else around him is wrong. And he always thinks I can never be independent and would have to be dependent on him.

When I'm 21 I'm not going to live off you. I'm just going to make do with it for another 3 more years. Always claim that I can never be independent. For crying out loud, you're the one forcing me to dependency, relying on you. When I want and try to be independent, you show that you can't trust me and tell me off that everything I do is wrong and No to this or that. What can I do? I just silently obey.
I'm going to be eighteen, when will you all realise that I'm no longer a kid? And that I have a mind of my own. So what if I'm an end of year child?

Seriously.. I've had enough.

*Joan* was here at 9:47:00 PM

"Like I've Never Seen It Before"

A glimpse of the bright shining star in the sky is what I get. It was just a glimpse. After seeing it, my hearbeat beats so fast that I almost lost my breath. Followed by the memories flooding my mind, close to having tears rolling down my cheeks.
Never once have I stopped loving it. Memories of it lingers on in my mind as I shut my eyes. Where have it been?
I've seem to lose it completely, but I never intend to. How can I ever get it back into my life? Seriously where have it been?
Does it have all the memories that I have? Does it remember? Does it care? Does it? Do those memories often flashes in its mind? Just the way I do..

I ignore.. But I was happy. Last of all I'm close to tears.
What's happening? I haven't got a clue..
Why does it always have to end up like this? I just don't understand.
It's not the first.. Not the second either. I've lost track.
Just where did that star go?

I ignore but I'm happy. Then I'm close to tears.
What does this mean about the feelings? Seriously..
I miss it. I love it. But it always disappear from my sight. It always happens.
Just what am I to do? Give it up? Or wait for it to appear once again?
Really not a clue at all...

~When winter comes~ :))

*Joan* was here at 12:04:00 AM

Monday, February 19, 2007

"I miss you"

It's the second day of CNY.
Ha! And my sec 2 cousin [paternal side] is staying over at my place today.
He's a sec 2 boy that looks like a pri 6 student. Lols.

Tomorrow I've got a whole lot of friends coming over my place for CNY visiting.
All my ex-classmates. All boys. Man! Like omgosh.. I'm like the only lady among those men. Blah. Sabrina will be coming over. But WTH! Only 2 ladies. Those bunch of guys just don't know how to call the girls along.
Dumb dumb.

I got to wake up early later to go and buy food for the steamboat which is meant for those who are coming over for visiting tomorrow. Blah.

Oh ya! About Sabrina.. She's finally back after a long 2 months of being away in a boat at Phillipines. :)) Like FINALLY! :D

Nostalgia
I miss you.
I need you.
I never want to feel the pain of losing you once again.
If only I could freeze some moment in my mind.
And I'd like to stop the clock, make time stand still.
Wish it'd never continue to tick by the seconds.

Goodnight all. :))

*Joan* was here at 11:48:00 PM

Sunday, February 18, 2007

"You"

Woke up early this morning and went for 9am mass. I met my god-family. Haha. :)

Went to my maternal's grandparents place in the afternoon around 12+.
Met all my 5 cousins there. The 6 of us gather together only once a year.
And I realised that all of us are out of secondary school.
The oldest among us, 22, is already working and the rest of us are tertiary students. Interesting. Hahaha.
Very soon all of us will be working.
Very soon all of us will be married.
Very soon all of us will have children.
Hahaha. That's how far my oldest cousin and I am thinking.
Our ages.. Ranged from the oldest to the youngest.
22, 20, 19, 18, 18, 17.
Cool. Hahaha. :))

For my paternal side, most of them are in primary school.
The youngest is at the age of 2.
2 in secondary.
3 tertiary. [including me] Hahaha.

Anyway anyway.. Enough about my cousins. Haha. :)

POWER OF THE DREAM
Deep within each heart
There lies a magic spark
That lights the fire of our imagination
And since the dawn of man
The strenght of just "I can!"
Has brought together people of all nations

There’s nothing ordinary
In the living of each day
There’s a special part
Every one of us will play

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
As the world gives us its best
To stand apart from all the rest
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

Your mind will take you far
The rest is just pure heart
You’ll find your fate is all your own creation
Every boy and girl
As they come into this world
They bring the gift of hope and inspiration

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

There’s so much strength in all of us
Every woman child and man
It’s the moment that you think you can’t
You’ll discover that you can

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

The power of the dream
The faith in things unseen
The courage to embrace your fear
No matter where you are
To reach for your own star
To realize the power of the dream

Got to go.. Goodnight to all.
Happy Chinese New Year to all my sexy honeys once again.
Have a Blessed and Properous New Year. God Bless. :))

*Joan* was here at 9:45:00 PM

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

Reunion dinner at my grands' place was great.
Haha. Steamboat, chocalate fondue and not to forget 'yu sheng'. Haha.
Seeing my aunties and uncles as well.
I got to wake up early later to go for 9am mass. Blah~ So early.. I wonder if I can wake up. :/

Anyway I got to turn in now. Jo outt~ :))

*Joan* was here at 1:14:00 AM

Friday, February 16, 2007

No one ever saw me like you do
All the things that I could add up to
I never knew just what a smile is worth
But your eyes say everything without a single word

Chorus:
'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You made me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me

If i could freeze some moment in my mind
Be the second that you touch your lips to mine
I'd like to stop the clock, make time stand still
'Cause baby, this is just the way I always wanna feel

(Repeat CHORUS)

I dont know how or why I feel different in your eyes
All I know is it happens everytime

(Repeat CHORUS)

Coda:
The way you look at me..

I just love the lyrics so.. :))
Yeap I know its my third post for today, cause I'm feeling bloggish. Blah~
Call me a weirdo. Haha.

*Joan* was here at 11:21:00 PM

Mark ah Leung ah! Your this video getting very very FAMOUS! Lol.. Seems like a lot of people are enjoying it. Muahahaha1000.
When you come back, remember to text us yea. Let's go skating!!! :]
Come to think of it, I've known you for about 7-8 years already.
Did I calculate correctly? Hahaha.

Hawhaw~ This video of yours is going to be published just here!
"College Saga"

Check out this video too. I'M IN IT. Try spotting me!!
I'm in black and 3/4 jeans. Short hair too. Nyahahaha1000. :D
"Jerk It Out!"

You know what Mark! I miss the house in Orchard, your maids and your grandparents!
Not to forget attending many skaters' parties and gatherings held in your house too.
All being missed.. :(

By the way.. The "jerk it out" video was done I think 2 years ago?! In 2005. Hahaha1000. Enjoy people!
If you spot me.. TAG! Hahaha..

*Joan* was here at 2:41:00 PM

roller coaster rides of torments

Sometimes I just feel that my smiles and laughters are so fake. Problems never seems to fail to occur everyday. Its endless. Seriously. I may be more fortunate than many people in the outside world. But everybody's situation is different, although some may be of slight similarity.

The road of life ahead of me is definitely not going to be easy. I don't know whether I'm prepared for it. As its always been said,
"No matter how not prepared you are.. DIE also must be prepared!"

To a certain point in life, at times I would really wish I can have someone to fully trust and depend on, besides God Himself. Someone to be there for me, to support, to encourage and give emotional needs. Yet again I'm not desperate for one, cause I know I can manage on my own.
Call me stubborn. Whatsoever. It's just me.

Joanne you know you gotta press on. Just hit the road.
No matter how tough its going to be down the long winding road, I'm in for it. :]

*Joan* was here at 12:29:00 AM

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

Hahaha1000... Eliz is my dinner date for today. Sakae Sushi here we come!
Haven't seen her in ages. :))

I went chinatown last night with my parents. Ooohhh Joy! There wasn't a lot of people, hence it was so much nicer to walk and shop around. At least we don't have to squeeze through the crowds like the previous years. :)

Anyhoo.. I'm going off to bed.

Goodnight!

*Joan* was here at 1:47:00 AM

Monday, February 12, 2007

"An Add On To The Earlier Post"

Dumb piece of shit! I seriously don't know what's gotten into my mom. First was last night. Now she talks to me like she can't be bothered with me.
She asked me if I wanted to put up the curtains in my room because Chinese New Year is coming. And I said not today.
Because I do not want to shift the current position of the altar in my room. If I were to add the curtains today, I do not know where to put my altar.
She asked me to put my altar on the shelf. BUT..
~The fact is I do not want my altar to be on the shelf.~

Then she went on saying, Why do another day? You got only 4 more days to CNY you know. Don't want then your business. You got time now, you only concentrate on your computer. And CNY, don't ask any of your friends over. I don't want anybody to come.
WTH! [Because she says the house is messy.]

Seriously I don't have any CNY mood this year. And considering my mom's attitude towards me these 2 days.
WTH man..

La deeda deeda Boom!
Life's predicaments never ends.

Oh it's 12.02am now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CKRIS!
Random Birthday Song. :))
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY.
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
:))

*Joan* was here at 11:33:00 PM

spring, autumn, winter, summer

I'm DAMN worried about my posting results. AAHH! Dumb Shit*

JOANNE JUST BLAME IT ON YOURSELF
for not doing well. Damn it. Worst come to worst I'll just go straight to the school to appeal. :(

Valentine's Day is dawning. 2 days away. Ha! Last year I had a date. This year?!
Hmm lets see. I don't think I'll have any this year.
My twin is spending it with her besties.
Me? Hmm.. Not a clue! ;/ Ha!
Spend it with friends? I'm not sure. I got to work. But I can finish work earlier though. :))
But go out with who? Blah~

WHO? WHO?

After Valentine's Day, its going to be Chinese New Year. Time really really flies so fast.
Very soon, I'll be entering poly. Ha! Cool..

Oh! And it's..
CHRIS CHEAH's [Head] BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!
Haha100.. :)

Gosh the wind is so strong. I can hear the wind howl from inside my room.
Anyhoo.. I'm going to buy my dinner soon. :))

*Joan* was here at 6:38:00 PM

Sunday, February 11, 2007

unexpected situations

Today's P&W session was great. It was my first time leading P&W, and it was definitely a great experience. Halfway during the session, I was so nervous and ended up having sweaty palms. Ha! But all said I did well, for it was my first time leading. :)) Thank you honey bees! Thank you Jeannette! :) for backing me up with the leading and not to forget playing the keyboard too, Andrea! :) for backing me up with the singing, and Dom! :) for playing wonderfully on the guitar. Thank you sexy honey bees!! :P

What spoilt my mood today was a quarrel that I just had with my mom at like 8+pm just now.

My mom told me to come home early after I'm done with my P&W session. Because she said, to go out for dinner with her and my dad. So when I was done at 5pm, I called her and she said my dad was not at home, thus told me to go have dinner alone. So ok! I went dinner with my friends. As usual my friends all haven't attended mass. So I had to wait for them to finish attending mass then we go for dinner.
By the time mass ended, it was already 6.30pm. Dragged a bit here and there before we went for dinner. I had dinner until 7.45pm and I left first without the rest.
I reached home and my mom wasn't around. Not long after, I received a call from her. Her aggitated voice as usual, she asked where I was. And I said I'm at home, she hung up on me immediately.
Not long, she came back. Guess what? She started screaming at me saying: "I told you to come home early right? Why are you late? Even if dad isn't home. I asked you to come home early. Why are you late?"
Thus I explained to her. I said: "Today's P&W session ended a little late. After the session, I had a short meeting with the core team. Plus waiting for my friends who went for mass before dinner.
I explain to her all these and she just rebut me by repeating "But I told you to come home early right. I told you to come home early right. I told you..."
Like WTH!
I don't think I did anything wrong can.

AAHH! IRRITATING DUMB SHIT

I'm like so tired after the whole day. I was in church early in the morning having to teach the Sec 3s catechism class which starts at 10am and ends at 1pm every Sunday.
9.30am I was having a meeting before the class started.
At 3pm I had to lead in P&W session for my band. I called my mom the moment I was done with session and she asked me to go for dinner before going home. I went for dinner, and I left early. I had to take a bus and train to go home. I was intending to take a cab home since my mom wanted me home early. But I was thinking about my financial status, thus I chose not to and took the bus and train instead.
I was sparing a thought for my mom wanting me to be home early thus during dinner, I left first.
The first thing I got was screaming and shouting from my mom asking me why am I late when I came back. WTHeaven!~ The past few Sundays I came home at like 10+. Today I'm home at 8+ and she screamed and scolded me for being late when she told me to be home early. WTHeck!!!
After a long day like this, I get this kind of shit the moment I get home.
WTH!!~
And I even spoke and explained to her until I was screaming at the top of my voice, hoping she'll calm down and understand my situation, and stop repeating the phrase "I told you to come home early!!"
Like WTH!!! Freaking PISSED! I SWEAR!
Then I wanted to say somemore and she told me off, "Don't Provoke Me Further!"
In the first place, who was provoking who first. If she didn't scream at me in the first place..

I went to bathe after that. And she went out, don't know what for. Thus, I helped her to fold all the clothes and keep the clothes that were hanging at the balcony.
She came home finally after 40mins. And she screamed at me again saying: "Your clothes in the toilet you don't even bother to wash. Everytime I've to do it for you!"
Like WTF!
I was like, at least I did something. I folded and kept the clothes.
And she said: "You only did that little tiny bit, and you expect me to be appreciative?! To think and say that you've done a good job?! To praise you like as if you're all high and mighty for doing that minor little thing?!?!"
WTF!! WTF!!
It's like at least I did something!!! I didn't even think I was high and mighty for doing that tiny bit.
~I just expected a thank you from her even if she was unhappy with me for being home late [which I don't think I was] and not washing the clothes!!

After that, she went to the shoe cupboard and she wanted to throw my spoiled high heels which could be repaired. WTF! I was so pissed that she wanted to throw that high heel!! AAH!

And after that she asked me to keep the jigsaw puzzle that I took more than a week to fix. Plus I don't have a frame to frame it up, and it was on the living room floor for quite some time. I don't even have a proper place to put it. Asking me to dismantle the whole jigsaw puzzle is INSANE!
Then she asked me to go and clean & wash her room toilet that I've been using.
And after that, she asked me to go and throw rubbish.
Ok all these are fine.
But screaming and scolding me the moment I came home is totally

RIDICULOUS!!!

It was my first time leading in P&W today. She wasn't even there to see and support me. Yet I come home, getting scolded and screamed at for coming home late [which I think I wasn't].
If she wanted to have dinner with me, she could have told me. If she wanted me to do housework, she could have told me also.
But WHAT?!?!?!?
I come home after a long day, not even a word of concern on how's my first time leading P&W today. WTHeck!!!~

Pissing me off only. Talkng about provoking. I think I'm being provoked the most!
Dumb piece of shit. IRRITATING!!!!! AAAHHHHH!!~

*Joan* was here at 9:32:00 PM

Saturday, February 10, 2007

moment of truth

FINALLY! My burden LIGHT! Alleluia..

Results wasn't what I expected. Did worse than I expected.
Seriously DISAPPOINTED ah!
But there's still quite a lot of poly courses that I can choose to go to.
Integrated events that I've been eyeing on, it's eligible! Hahaha1000.
What I'm worried now is, the courses that I choose, there might be a lot of ppl whose grades are better than me will choose it, then I may not get a chance to get in.
Worse scenario will be, I've to appeal to get the course. :/
Gosh.. God PLEASE HELP ME!!! :(

But aferall, I thank God that I'm finally out of Secondary school. HOORRAY!!! YAYEE!! :))
There's still hope. I'm not giving up just yet! :))
And my dear friends, you guys should just make do with what you have and press on. It's not the end of the road yet. So don't give up and cheer up okays? :)

And to my honey honey classmates, it's been a great 5 years with all the ups and downs together. It's all worth while afterall.
Press on! No matter what the outcome of the results were.
Cheers to our many years of friendship. :))
Happy 18th year to peeps of 1/4, 2/4, 3/4, 4/4 and 5/1...
CHEERS TO ALL*!! :D

I Love You.. :))

*Joan* was here at 2:03:00 AM

Friday, February 09, 2007

you're all that I need

It's TOMORROW!! AAAHHH!!! I'm just going to faint. I SWEAR!

Lord please don't put me to the test.
I really really need to pass my O levels, Lord.
Please Please Please Help me.
Lord apart from myself,
I pray that the others will pass with good grades too.
Do not bring us to the test Lord, deliver us from evil.

Hey people! All the best to you all. Will keep all of you in my prayer tonight before I go to bed. God bless all of us. :))
AMEN?
AMEN! :)

This marks the beginning of the new season.
I love you. :))

*Joan* was here at 12:02:00 AM

Thursday, February 08, 2007

fear of the unpredictable

Gosh! Results are going to be released this Friday at 2.30pm!! Ahhh!!! GOD HELP ME.. I'm seriously freaking out. I SWEAR.. This is worse than taking my 'N' level and Chinese 'O' level results. AAAHHH!!! I want someone to go with me! :/
Really Really WORRIED & SCARED!!
God please please don't put me to the test.. :'(

Anyway these few days, I got to plan for this Sunday's P&W Session. Stress..
Meeting Dom and Jean tomorrow evening to discuss and practice.
Gosh! My singing needs more touching up.
And besides, there are going to be our new members there, aaahhh I'm shy. :/
I need tonnes of back ups for singing and leading.
Jeanette!! Andrea!! Dom!! Ckris!! Deb!!
HELP!!

One of my favourite song... :))
"So You Would Come"
Before the world began,
You were on His mind
And every tear you’ve cried
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love,
He gave His only Son
And everything was done,
So you would come.

Nothing you can do,
Can make Him love you more
And nothing that you’ve done,
Can make Him close the door
Because of His great love,
He gave His only Son
And everything was done,
So you would come

Come to the Father,
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word,
The power of His love
And everything was done,
So you would come.

By the way....
An add on to 2nd Feb's entry.
If I want to be obvious right.. I could have done it since last November 2006. Why would I wait until now? :)
"Case officially closed"

I miss every single moment of those precious times.

*Joan* was here at 12:11:00 AM

Monday, February 05, 2007

i love winter

'Ouran High School' rocks! Hahaha1000. I'm watching episode 25 now. LOL.

AHHH!!! Results are coming out this Friday at 2.30pm. Gosh.. I'm freaking out! While the principal talks, I think I'll be sitting there shivering. Cold sweats~ :/
I'm freaking worried!! God Please Help me! :'(
Sigh...

Anyway I'm off to watch the last episode. Toodles.
I love you.. :))

*Joan* was here at 9:45:00 PM

unending hymn of love

WOAH! The exhibition in church for the past two days was AWESOME!!! Especially yesteday. Cool. Guess what?!?! Psalm 91 has 12 new members. Magnificent!! :D
We did a really GREAT+SUCCESSFUL+AWESOME job for the exhibition. Legion TOO! :))
We Rock! Hawhaw~~ :D

The effort that's being put into the posters and all were all worth it. No regrets. :) Though we were all so zonked after the two long days, we're still happy with the outcome of this exhibition. We not only managed to recruit more members, but we've also got to know new friends. Psalm 91 and Legion alike. :)) Swwweeeeeet.. Hahaha1000.

I got to sleep soon. Got to wake up early in the morning to go to work. :/

Goodnight. I love you. :))

Labels: Awesome Weekend

*Joan* was here at 1:48:00 AM

Saturday, February 03, 2007

we are one

So many politics around. Even in church, the 'House of God', for crying out loud. Politics here and politics there. Politics' basically everywhere. It never ends.
The end of the world is coming. Judgement day. :))

I seriously can't be bothered. It's just a dumb piece of shit. :}

Anyway I received an email from Aunt Catherine. Pretty cool. Hahaha10000.
"Strategies for Teenhood". LOL.

One of the toughest jobs in the world is being a
teenager. Everything is in transition. Everything is
intense--even apathy.

Kids on the brink of adulthood have to cope with
inconsistencies and conflicts. A desire to be special
and different clashes with the need to belong and fit
in. The desire for independence collides with an
aversion to self-reliance and personal
responsibility.

I want to suggest five strategies that can make the
journey through adolescence less painful and more
enjoyable:

One: Don't run from responsibility; run toward it. The
sooner you become visibly responsible, the sooner you
will be authentically independent and free to do what
you want and be what you want.

Two: Be yourself. You don't need orange hair, a nose
ring or tattoos to be special. Dressing or behaving in
extreme ways to stand out or blend in can seem like a
desperate demand for attention. Discover your talents
and build your character, and you will be not only
noticed but respected.

Three: Resist the seduction of selfishness and
short-sightedness. People who think only of their
wants and needs sentence themselves to a dark and
lonely dungeon. Don't confuse pleasure with happiness.
Just because it feels good doesn't make it good. Don't
trade all your tomorrows for today.

Four: Don't expect too much or settle for too little.
No one can make you happy, but you can be happy. Hang
out with people who bring out the best in you, and be
the kind of person who brings out the best in others.

Five: Control your attitudes and you will control your
life. You can't always control what happens to you but
you can always control what happens in you. Remember,
pain is inevitable but suffering is a choice. So is
happiness.

Hahaha.. Agree agree!! :))

Yesterday or today, ok it's yesterday cause it's 1.25am already. Hahaha10000..
Stayed over at Deb's house on Friday night. Woke up in the morning and we headed to the printing shop to check out the price for printing out the flyers. Guess what?!? The price for printing was freaking expensive!! The lady said that 10 pieces and below of A4 size cost $2 per piece. WTHeck!! $2 per piece is INSANE. Above 10 pieces is $1 per piece. [Go jump down man.] Then we told the lady we had to print like 30 pieces. And she said it costs 80cents per piece for 30. WTHeck!!
It's still freaking expensive can.
Deb and I refused to pay that much, because we could have got it done with a cheaper price. Apparently we had no choice because we are too far away from that worth it place, thus called Keenan, and ended up going to church to print out the flyers in youth office.
Practically spent the whole day in church. Hahaha1000. Actually not really because in the afternoon, Deb, me, Jeanette and Terrence went to WM to get stuff.
The roadshow wasn't that good, considering that it was the first day.
Well, after all that, I attended the parish assembly which started at 7pm.
Pretty cool. Attending it for the first time. It was not bad.
There were a lot of suggestions and opinions on how the church has progress since last year. There was a lot of feedback on how much the youth ministry has improved as a whole. It was very pleasant to hear. On the other hand, there's still much space for the youths to improve. So yea..
The food and refreshments for the parish assembly were fantastic. Hahahha1000.
We even had a mini line-dancing session. Hahaha100000... 'Honky Tonk' was played while we were eating. The moment when we heard the song, Aunt Catherine, Deb, Rach and me, 4 of us all started dancing. HAHAHA10000.. So FUN! Really enjoyed the night. :))
Oh ya.. I want to thank Uncle Michael and Aunt Catherine for sending me home just now. Thank you so so much. Yes I know I thank you all a lot a lot of times already. But still.. I want to thank you all again. So sorry to trouble you two. :))

Hahaha1000. I think I'm going to bed soon. I got to wake up at 6.30 am because I got to be in church by 8am in the morning to set up the booth for the roadshow.

It's going to be another long day in church today. Cool. Fun. :))
Goodnight people.
I Love You. :))

*Joan* was here at 11:40:00 PM

Thursday, February 01, 2007

"let's reunite someday"

I just realised that today's the 1st day of February. Gosh, January sure did pass so fast. How time flies.. So quickly yet so scary. Can hardly grasp my breath to catch up with the hectic fast-paced life.

And my results are coming out very soon. ~Chills running down my spine~
I'm really really worried. Gosh..
God Please Help Me!!!
As each day passes, my burden gets heavier and heavier. Anyway once my results are out, it'll get lighter. I really have to endure till this season ends. :/

Gonna begin a new season. Start afresh. More problems arising.

Face the challenges once again. RRaRR~

*Joan* was here at 3:14:00 PM

Fire of Life

What a blast last night! Met up with Psalm 91 [Nicholas, Ckris & Deb] to brainstorm about the poster. Most of us snapped. Ha! Sure did have a lot of things to do. Nicholas and I had to come out with the design of the layout. While Deb had to collate all the photos into photoshop.
Deb and I stayed until 12midnight in church to do as much as possible. And HURRAY!! smart things happened. Deb left her CD of photos in Ckris' computer, and I've got to go to church at 7pm later to collect the cd and drop it at Deb's house. That way, she can get it all done by today, and print & laminate the poster by tomorrow. Gosh timing's so Rush!!
All the last minute work. I hate it. Irritated. :/

Anyway I decided to watch Ouran High School at crunchyroll.com.
Gosh the show's pretty cool!! =) Love it.. Thanks for the recommendation Deb. :))

*Joan* was here at 9:28:00 AM

Roses`

A Cup Of Wine`

Sweet Champagne`

REMINISE`

SPECIAL THANKS`